There is no solution to your life

Many of us live with the expectation that life is solvable, that there are potential clear solutions to life's problems, and that this march towards progress is not only possible but necessary. We feel that there is a right answer waiting for us if we look hard enough.

We feel like we are supposed to have a calling.

We feel like we are supposed to find the one.

Like one day, somehow, we'll figure life out.

In reality, there is no solution to life’s problems, there are only trade-offs. What will you choose?

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Gillette, the best a woke savior can get

The newest Gillette ad has somehow become a breaking point in a brewing culture war.

What the ad manages to do in masterful fashion, and the reason for the flood of outrage, is to present a series of underlying assumptions about the world that are held by a minority of people, but are being talked about as if they were sacred truths. They are not.

The hopeful message of this campaign is that, even though patriarchy is still rampant, there is a new, subdued masculine savior figure who will lead his formerly unenlightened brothers into the light.

In this post, I have a look at the version of masculinity that’s presented by the ad, and what it might feel like to be the woke savior.

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The most powerful books I've read this year

This has been an incredible year. I’ve started this blog, confronted a fair few demons and had adventures galore. I also learned a lot from the simple act of doing hard things but also by reading amazing books. Here’s my year end roundup of the best books I’ve read in 2018 and what I’ve learned in actionable little morsels, so you have some inspiration after you wake up from your New Year’s coma.

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This is why you can never get away with anything

Shortcuts are the key to changing your life. Ok, it’s actually the avoidance of shortcuts.

A shortcut is a brief suspension of your values and goals because… reasons. Sounds like a minor problem, I know, but what it actually does is much less benign. You undermine your future self constantly on the altar of today. And having a close look at your shortcuts is how you can change your tomorrow.

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How to have an amazing relationship (it isn't what you think)

As the sex wars rage on, we seem to have not found either equality or peaceful coexistence. Many men still seem oblivious to their privilege - we can’t live with them, but we also can’t live without them. Have we kept the receipt? slaps knee

In this article I look at one potential fix for the tension, and it’s a surprisingly ancient trick. If you can do one thing for your relationship this. is. it. It’s quick, easy, incredibly powerful and uses household items.

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Change of habit - 10 reasons why you need to read Atomic Habits

I’ve been a habit change junkie for quite a long time, but no book has ever set the bar so high with crystal clear, actionable advice than Atomic Habits, by James Clear.

Atomic Habits has added so much to my understanding of myself that I thought it would provide a great backbone to looking at the most important things I’ve learned about changing your habits. I’ve boiled it down to the 10 most useful principles/rules that I know work, because I’ve been the guinea pig for them.

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Even if #metoo, we've got better things to do

#metoo is a movement that undoubtedly has done some good.

That being said, it's devolved into a witch hunt, another moral panic that seems to have taken the world by storm, and it’s putting a wedge between alleged victims and perpetrators for anything from an unwanted advance to actual violence.

I look at this subject through the lens of someone that could very well be holding picket signs and screaming at the sky, but isn’t. And for good reason.

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Why is Jordan Peterson a thing?

Jordan Peterson has been called one of the most original thinkers of our time. At the same time he’s been called a fascist and a racist. What’s the deal with this guy, why is he such an intellectual behemoth and why all of a sudden? This is a look at the importance of a new type of monumental character, a man who’s influence changed millions of lives, including my own.

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Dating in 2018 - The Harsh Truth

Dating has seemingly never been easier but frustrations with it are at an all time high. It feels like finding love is a thing of the past - the stuff of 90s movies, where Meg Ryan was adorably grumpy for all sorts of inexplicable reasons. Here I document my own experience in around two years of dating in London and pepper it with a bit of economics, evolutionary psychology and good ole common sense.

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